Adam Sandler Wikia

The Buffoon And The Valedictorian serves as a sequel to The Buffoon And The Dean of Admissions from They're All Gonna Laugh At You!, Sandler's first album in 1993.


  • Adam Sandler: And now, the Buffoon's date at the drive-in with the school's valedictorian.
  • Valedictorian: I really appreciate you asking me out. Most people are intimidated by my high academic achievement.
  • Michael: This movie sucks shit!
  • Valedictorian: Well, Ebert gave it thumbs up, but Siskel thought it was too preachy. Anyway, I liked the director's last film immensely.
  • Michael: Kathleen Turner has big fucking tits!
  • Valedictorian: Well, she recently had a child.
  • Michael: I put a firecracker in a bullfrog's mouth and blew his fucking head off!
  • Valedictorian: Well, in psychology, we learned that it is not uncommon for male adolescents to commit savage acts on animals as part of the maturing process.
  • Michael: That girl in the fucking car in front of us, she gives everybody head.
  • Valedictorian: Well, I guess she's strong for attention and she feels promiscuity is the only way to obtain it.
  • Michael: This popcorn's fucking terrible. It tastes like someone jizzed all over it.
  • Valedictorian: Well, the amount of semen on this popcorn is certainly disturbing. Perhaps
  • Michael: I looked at my asshole in the mirror today! It blew my fucking mind!
  • Valedictorian: It's ironic that parts on ones own body
  • Michael: My father's shit stinks up the bathroom all fucking day!
  • Valedictorian: It's puzzling why one person's fecal matter can be overpowering than anothers'.
  • Michael: I'm gonna get head from that fucking girl!
  • Valedictorian: While I'm sorry to see the day come to an abrupt conclusion,
  • Michael: I like to piss in that guy's fucking gas tank!
  • Valedictorian: Bye-bye, have fun!

Voice Cast[]

  • Adam Sandler as Adam Sandler, Michael
  • Jennifer Lien as The Valedictorian