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Do It for Your Mama is a sketch from the 1996 album What the Hell Happened to Me?.

DialogueEdit

  • J.M.: I can make a bigger splash than you!
  • Jimmy: Oh, yeah? Give it a shot.
  • J.M.: Can opener! [Makes cannonball jump into pool]
  • Jimmy: Man, that one was huge!
  • J.M.: You go.
  • Jimmy: Ah, jackknife! [Jumps into pool, small splash]
  • Tracy: That was a dud, Jimmy.
  • Jimmy: Shut up, Tracy!
  • Tracy: You shut up.
  • Emily: Lunch time, kids!
  • J.M. And Jimmy: Alright!
  • Emily: I made some jelly sandwiches and sliced up some can't-elope! I figured you could eat a little food, and then, maybe, play with your cock and balls for a while.
  • J.M.: I'm just gonna eat, mom.
  • Emily: Alright. And then, maybe a little later, you can play with your cock and balls for momma.
  • J.M.: I don't think so.
  • Emily: Okay, baby. Slow down, Jimmy! You're already halfway done your sandwich. You're gonna get a bellyache!
  • Jimmy: No, I'm not. I'm hungry.
  • Emily: I know, but you shouldn't eat so fast. You're rushing, honey. You're gonna choke. Put down your sandwich and beat off your cock and balls, for a little bit. Pace yourself.
  • Jimmy: Oh, God!
  • Emily: Tracy! Do you want some fruit or a sandwich?
  • Tracy: No, mom. I'm trying to lose weight. Guy said I'm getting fat.
  • Emily: WHAT!? You look beautiful, honey. He's crazy!
  • Tracy: Guy said last summer, I looked better in a bathing suit. So, I'm going to try to lose like, three or four pounds.
  • Emily: Sweetheart, you've got so much to learn. Guy doesn't want you to lose weight, baby. It's just his way of telling you he wants you to smack around his cock and balls some more. Honey, he's got some balls and some cock. You've got to stroke his schlong or at least bite his nuts.
  • Tracy: Mom!
  • Emily: You're scared, aren't you, honey? You want mom to help you? Mom will stroke Guy's penis for him. No one has to know.
  • Tracy: Mom, please!
  • Emily:
  • J.M.: Mom, where's the suntan lotion?
  • Emily: It's under the chair, baby.
  • J.M.: Uh, no. I'm just going to put it on my face so I don't get sunburnt.
  • Emily: Smart thinking honey.
  • Jimmy: Mom!
  • Emily: What, Jimmy?
  • Jimmy: You're weird, mom. I'm going swimming.
  • Emily: Oh, you shouldn't swim for a half an hour. I read that.
  • Jimmy: Why?
  • Emily:
  • Jimmy: It's okay, I'll stay in the shallow end.
  • Emily:
  • Jimmy:
  • J.M.: Here! Whoops!
  • Jimmy: Nice throw.
  • Emily: Don't get all huffy-puffy.
  • J.M.: Okay, mom.
  • Emily:
  • Mr. Chason:
  • Emily:
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